


Little Talks

by orphan_account



Series: Of Butterflies and Honesty [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, Magic Revealed, Merlin tells Morgana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 14:06:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3899137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur finally knows about Merlin's magic, but he's not the only one Merlin needs to tell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Talks

**Author's Note:**

> **NOTE** I pretty much completely re-wrote this chapter because someone kindly pointed out to me that this takes place AFTER the events at the end of season 2 and beginning of season 3 when Morgana gets back. So yeah, a little more anger and angst was definitely needed. Hopefully I put in enough!
> 
> Title is from the song by Of Monsters and Men. So I hinted at this in Stories aren’t Always Fiction. Hopefully it is satisfactory, I really had no idea what I was doing! Also, its unbeta'd so any mistakes are mine. While the mistakes are all mine none of the characters are. Sigh.

Merlin was stalling. At first he’d had a legitimate reason not to talk to Morgana. He’d wanted to talk to Arthur about everything first, to leave nothing unspoken between them before he went to anyone else. Especially Morgana. 

But now he had told Arthur everything, answered everything question and faced every charge. It had been two weeks, maybe more since they’d gone through it all and Merlin still hadn’t gone to talk to the woman who was now his enemy. Gauis was dead set against the idea of Merlin telling her the truth. While Merlin agreed that it may be wise to keep the full extent of his powers from her for the time being—and he certainly had no intention of revealing that he was Emrys to her—he still insisted on telling her that he had some magic.

In all honesty though he was terrified just thinking about talking to her after all that had happened between them. He had no idea how she would react and would not be surprised at all if she reacted in violence. The last thing he wanted was to fight her in anyway, he was trying to mend things between them and not make them worse. 

He’d decided that morning that today was the day he would tell her, but lunch had already come and gone before he’d found his way to her door. He’d been there nearly an hour, hiding down the hall, going over things to say in his head. He’d decide on a line, take a few steps, panic and turn back. 

Again. 

Stalling.

And then finally he knew it was time. He squared his shoulders and actually knocked this time, staying in front of the door until Gwen opened it with a smile.

“Merlin, it’s good to see you! Can I help you with something?” she asked cheerfully.

She was so happy that Morgana was back, content to be Morgana’s maid and companion, to do what she could to make the life of the king’s ward easier and happier. Merlin realized then that his honesty had the potential to not only help Morgana, but also Gwen and the others who cared for Morgana as well. He knew how worried Gwen was about Morgana, and he hoped that if he could help Morgana see that they were not the enemy, then perhaps it would make things easier on Gwen as well.

But first he had to actually talk. To Morgana. About his magic.

“Is Morgana here?” he asked with only the hint of a quiver in his voice.

“Who is it, Gwen?” Morgana called out, almost as if in response to his question.

“It’s Merlin, m’lady,” Gwen replied, stepping back to let Merlin through into the room.

Morgana was sitting by the window, a book in hand, but she rose to approach them both when Merlin entered.

“Hello, Merlin, was there something you needed?” she inquired, and while her manner was outwardly friendly there was an edge to her voice and a hardness to her eyes that Merlin didn’t miss.

“Yes, m’lady. That is, I have a question, more like a request really. For you,” he stammered, unsure of how to approach her.

Gwen was trying to hide a smile behind her hand and Merlin would probably have laughed at his own awkwardness if he wasn’t ready to turn and run. He always felt a little unsure when he talked to Morgana, even before all that had happened. She was just so sure of herself, so comfortable in her own skin and so beautiful, and in her presence he would become hyper-aware of his gangly limbs and big ears.

“What is it?” Morgana asked, one elegant eyebrow raised.

“I was wondering if perhaps I could speak to you, in private.” 

He cast a guilty look over at Gwen, feeling bad for his obvious exclusion of her. But it was not up to him to reveal Morgana’s secret to anyone. That would have to be her decision.

“In private?” Morgana repeated, obviously surprised by the request.

“Yes, please. Or perhaps just where no one can hear? I’m sorry Gwen’s it’s just, a personal matter,” he added with a shrug.

Gwen was clearly confused, eyes narrowed as she considered him momentarily before nodding once in acceptance.

“Yes, I suppose that would be all right. Gwen, you can go home early if you’d like. I can take care of myself the rest of the day.”

“I could just wait somewhere, m’lady. I don’t mind,” Gwen protested.

“I’m sure Gauis would be happy for your company? And I can tell you when I’m done here?” Merlin suggested.

“Perfect. I’ll be with Gauis if you need anything, either of you. I’ll just, go then,” she gave Merlin one last calculating look before gathering a few things and departing.

“What is this about, Merlin?” Morgana demanded almost as soon as the door had closed.

Merlin took a deep breath, trying to recall any of the things he’d thought of to say while he’d been pacing in the hallway.

“Maybe we should sit?” he suggested instead.

Morgana huffed but complied, turning and stalking determinedly towards a pair of chairs settled next to a window. She sat, and looked pointedly at him, clearly expecting him to get to the point.

He sat opposite her gingerly, sighed, and met her eyes.

“Are you here to poison me again? Or perhaps to beg my forgiveness once more for the last time?” she suggested icily.

Merlin steeled himself against the guilt that washed over him at the reminder. “I am sorry, Morgana, but I’m not here to ask for forgiveness. Or to poison you,” he assured her.

“Then what is it?”

“I have magic,” he blurted out.

Morgana jerked back as if he’d struck her, eyes blown wide.

“What?” she whispered.

“I have magic, I was born with it,” he repeated gently. “I should have told you a long time ago, but you’re not the only one who is afraid, I suppose.”

She stood, stepping away from him then, towards the window, but he didn’t follow. There was nothing else he could say until she’d processed this revelation. 

“Why are you telling me this, Merlin?” she finally asked.

He stood then, taking an uncertain step towards her. “Because I can help you, Morgana. I know that you feel as if you are alone here, as if no one knows what you’re going through, but that’s not true. I’ve felt the same my entire life, and I should have told you the moment I realized what your dreams were,” he admitted.

She turned towards him then, faster than he would have imagined she could and twisted a hand in his shirt. She brought her other hand up and wrapped it in his neckerchief, her forearm pressed against his chest as she jerked him down to her eye level.

“You knew all this time, and you said nothing?” she hissed.

Her eyes were fierce and filled with anger, flashing dangerously with bits of gold but there was a deep hurt there as well and Merlin wanted nothing more than to look away, but he knew he couldn’t back down from her now. This situation was of his own making and he’d run away enough already. He had to face this—face her, face his own mistakes if there was to be any hope of setting things right between them, or at least drawing her back from whatever dark path she’d been led down during the months she’d been gone.

“Yes,” he admitted, forgoing excuses or explanations. “I wanted to tell you, at first, as soon as I realized. But I was afraid, I’d never told anyone before that. I’m still afraid,” he admitted, sparing a pointed glance towards the hand she had twisted into his neckerchief.

“So was I!” she screamed, giving him a little jerk.

She was stronger than she looked and Merlin really wasn’t surprised. He glanced nervously towards the door, hoping no passing guards or servants had heard her. He didn’t want to think of what would happen if Uther found him alone with his now-distraught ward.

“I know,” he answered quietly, hands raised in acquiescence. “I’m so sorry. But you’re not alone in this, Morgana. You may not believe it or trust me right now, but you’re not alone.”

She released him them, sagging and catching herself on the windowsill. Merlin took an unsteady step back, subconsciously preparing for another onslaught. She’d turned away from him though, hiding her face behind her hair as she looked out the window.

“Why did you do it?” she whispered, so quiet he almost didn’t hear her question. “You tried to kill me.”

“I didn’t know what else to do. Morgause was using you to attack the city, and I couldn’t let anything happen to Arthur.”

“And what about Uther?” Morgana demanded, yelling once more, her voice full of rage as she turned back to him, eyes golden. He felt her power surround him like a vice, the pressure uncomfortable but not painful, though the threat was there. “You would kill one of your own in order to protect the life of the man who has murdered hundreds of innocent people?”

“I never wanted you to die. It was the hardest decision I have ever made. But Uther is just one man, and Arthur will be a better king, he won’t make the same mistakes, I know it.”

“How can you know that, Merlin?” Morgana scoffed at him, turning back to the window though her magic still held him where he was. “He is Uther’s son, through and through. Arthur worships the ground his father walks on. He may be less of a spoiled brat now then he was when you first arrived but that doesn’t mean he won’t be happy to light your pyre, or mine,” she spat.

“Arthur caught me doing magic,” Merlin admitted. “He could have killed me then and there, or brought me here to be executed. But he didn’t, and he won’t. He knows about everything that I’ve done and he’s accepted it. He’s accepted that magic can be used for good and not only for evil. You could show him that, too.” Merlin tried desperately to explain

“Did you tell him about me?” Morgana demanded, turning to look at him with flashing eyes, the force around him constricting, her voice taking on a panicked edge.

“No! No, and I won’t. I won’t tell anyone, I swear it. I’m very good at keeping secrets,” Merlin insisted with a gasp as he struggled to breathe in enough air.

“No one would believe you. They would never take your word over mine,” Morgana replied lightly as she released the power holding him in place.

Merlin stumbled, nearly falling at the sudden loss of pressure around him.

“I know. Morgana, please. I know what I did to you is unforgivable,” he ventured.

“I thought you said you didn’t come here to beg, Merlin,” Morgana countered with a predatory smile.

She seemed much more at ease having displayed her power—both her magic and the power she held over him as Uther’s beloved ward.

“I’m not begging for myself. But I suppose that yes, maybe I am begging in a way. Please give Arthur a chance. He loves you so much and I know that he would accept you for who you are.” 

“Why did you tell me all this, Merlin? To convince me to be your friend, that I should trust you after what you did to me? Or are you really only here for Arthur’s sake?”

“I wish you would be my friend, or at least that you would trust me enough to let me help you when you needed it,” Merlin answered earnestly. “But if not me, then yes, trust Arthur. I know you can.”

“Perhaps,” Morgana mused.

Silence fell between them for several tense moment before Merlin spoke again.

“Are you going to tell anyone about me?” he ventured softly, unsurely.

Morgana was quiet for several long moments, long enough to have Merlin squirming where he stood.

“If I wanted you dead at the hands of Uther I need only tell him what you did to me before,” she finally said.

Merlin wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or not.

“That’s true.”

“I won’t tell anyone. Yet,” she finally said.

“Thank you, I think,” Merlin responded, unsure of where they stood.

“I will think about what you said about Arthur, Merlin. I give you my word on that. I don’t know if I can tell him, not right now. It’s been so long,” Morgana admitted, suddenly vulnerable after her threats. “But I will consider it. I haven’t forgiven you for betraying me, but I understand why you thought it was necessary at the time. I only wish for both our sakes you’d come to me sooner.”

“So do I.” There were tears in Merlin’s eyes and his voice was filled with regret.

“You should go now, Merlin.”

“Yes, m’lady.” Merlin went quietly towards the door and he’d reached for the handle when Morgana called out to him once more.

“Merlin?”

“Yes, m’lady?”

“Thank you for telling me, for trusting me now,” Morgana said and Merlin knew she was being sincere.

“You’re welcome, Morgana. I’m glad you’re home.”

**Author's Note:**

> There isn't much 'Merlin tells Morgana about his magic' out there and I think it made this a little harder to write then I thought it would be. There are just so many ways this conversation could go. I don’t think that the road would have been an easy one but I like to think that with enough love and support Morgana could have found her way back to the ‘light side’ and things would have been happier for everyone.


End file.
